Are You Actually Growing – Or Just Getting Older? - The Morning Gear — Nigeria's Self Improvement and Mindset Podcast for GenZ

I sat in the room and asked myself a question.

Did I actually grow this year or did I just survive it?

And the answer surprised me, and I think it would surprise you.

So I was depressed. Like I was depressed because I

remember that a few months ago I actually said the goal of

hitting 1,000,000 sales of my ebook before the 5th of May,

which is my birthday. I'm looking at the obvious

results of that, you know, public announcement.

I had not even made-up to like 10,000 from that product, as

many as that sounds. Probably I was like colleagues

under the influence of doing Kruger's effect.

I saw someone who is selling the same thing, how to write an ad,

which is an AI. He's selling his his book for

40,000 naira. Yes, 40,000 Naira.

And I remembered that August 24th last year when I was 18

actually launched this podcast with my phone.

I said, OK, let me go and check my statistics, my analytics,

right? And I went to my broadcast

analytics and voila, the broadcast has listeners in 19

countries already. Growth, the kind of actually

changed who you are. It requires a decision every

single time. For me, this is the exact reason

why I didn't make the 1,000,000 naira I proposed I was going to

make. Neurological research shows that

the prefrontal cortex, which is the identity development center

of your brain, is not fully developed until you turn around

25 years. Being broke is the best place

you can find yourself. Comfort heals faster than

anything. Getting older is automatic.

Growing is a decision, and the difference between the two is

whether you are asking the five questions or just watching the

calendar move. And I just give you what's the

right questions. If you're here right now, you

already know something most people your age don't, that the

conversation inside your head matters, that who you are

becoming is more important than what you are achieving, and that

the right words at the right time can change everything.

By listening to the morning gear, I am divine.

Danielle, the Gen. Z educator, welcome back.

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The morning here is currently held in 19 countries, and it

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I am glad you are here, and I look forward to having you here

over and over and over again. Now let's get into it.

Do you know that growing and getting older are two different

things? Most people think growing is

automatic as getting older is automatic, but it's not.

We get older every year, but unfortunately most of us don't

grow every year. I believe by the end of this

episode you'll be able to know exactly the difference between

growing and just getting older. I turned 19 a few years ago and

a week before that I sat in a room and asked myself a

question. Did I actually grow this year or

did I just survive it? And the answer surprised me and

I think it would surprise you as well.

On that fatal afternoon I was doomed scrolling on Instagram

watching the reels and all that. I sat on the bed and while I was

dim scrolling my battery went down and since there was light I

decided to go charge my phone B4 and the pad doesn't stain now

I've heard when to charge my phone.

I came back to the room, I sat on the bed and I stared outside

the window and then I had to like sit with myself, sit with

my emotions, sit with my feelings and all that because

that do scrolling was a withdrawal method.

Yes, was a withdrawal response, right?

I was trying to withdraw from the actual emotions I was

feeling at that point. But then as my phone went down

and I sat on the bed, I had to sit with myself.

So like I said I took 19 a few weeks ago on the 5th of May and

that week before that 1000 this happened.

So after plugging my phone, I sat on the bed and looking out

the window had to start recording.

I was depressed like I was depressed within the week.

I have been depressed within that week.

I have been depressed frequently.

I wanted to leave the house probably because OK, I was

always at home because I'm very introverted.

I really go out except it needs I need to rather.

So I was sitting that day on the bed and I started to think I

told 19 in a few days I what have I actually achieved?

Did I actually grow? And that is why I'm bringing

this episode to you now. Because my phone was low, I was

forced to stop screaming and I had to sit on the bed and sit

with myself. Right now I'm thinking I have to

like check the calendar to know exactly how how many days it was

to my birthday was like 5 days to my birthday.

No, I started to recall what did I actually do?

What have I actually achieved? Because I remember that a few

months ago I actually set a goal of hitting 1,000,000 in sales of

my ebook before the 5th of May, which is my birthday.

And looking at the obvious results of that, you know,

public announcement, I had not even made-up to like 10,000 from

that product, as funny as that sounds now that alone was enough

for me to be depressed because I had come out publicly to see I'm

going to make a millionaire and all that.

Probably I was, well, I call it under the influence of doing

Kruger's effect, which means people who are less competent

feel like they are competent because they don't really know

what it takes to achieve what they want to achieve.

Then people who are actually more competent and know what it

takes confident because they actually knew the work they have

to put into it to achieve what they want to achieve.

Something like that. In my scenario, that was the

definition of what doing Kuga effect was or is now that Elon

got me depressed. I was sitting.

I was just trying to, you know, channel that feeling to

something else. But then within that moment of

self judgment and self sabotaging, I had to come back.

I had to come back now. That is why I decided to make

this episode the difference between growing and getting

older. So while thinking about it, I

started to think what exactly what exactly was the reason why

I did not make my or I did not hit my goal of making 1,000,000

in 72 days. Now previously, because I'm

recording this broadcast like a few weeks after that.

On that day, I thought that the reason was because I did not

have the resources right in the sense that I did not have the

money per SE. No, I did not manage properly

the money I had, but I'm thinking about it now.

I actually don't have any excuse because now at this state of I

am now, I saw that that was not actually the actual reason, but

I'm going to tell you the actual reason within the episode,

right? I'm going to review to you the

actual reason why I did not make that 1,000,000.

And I will tell you that this is something that most people do

not really admit, but it's mostly because of our problems

as young people who are trying to become great people,

successful and all that. Getting older happens to you.

Getting older, it happens to you.

You don't have a choice. As the year goes, years turns to

decade, decades turns to centuries, you get older, you

don't have a choice. But growing, growing happens

because of you. Your body adds a year whether

you earned it or not. But growth, the kind of actually

change who you are, it requires a decision every single.

Now here's the problem. We've been taught to measure our

growth by our outcomes. Did you hit that goal?

Did you make that money? Did you hit that follower

account? Did you get the results?

But then we forget to understand that outcomes are just lagging

indicators of our lives. They tell you what happened last

season. That is the outcomes.

The outcome tells you what happened last season, but they

did not tell you who you became because of what happened last

season. So while I was thinking about

everything, how my life was a misery and all that, because I

felt like what have I achieved? But as a very mindful,

unconscious person that I am, I have to think about my thoughts

in a different light. Now when we see that growth, it

should be measured by who you became.

As soon as you ask myself who did I actually become, I started

to remeasure my growth. Now a lot of things happened

within that month. When I wrote my book, I stopped

my my toxic boss and I actually had a plan and actually executed

that plan successfully. That is growth.

And I remembered that August 24th last year when I was 18

actually launched this podcast with my phone.

Now last year December, it was heading like 11 countries right

now. When I was thinking, I said, OK,

well, let me go and check because my podcast has been on

hiatus for quite a while now and I said OK, let me go and check

my statistics, my analytics, right?

I went to my podcast analytics and voila, the podcast has

listeners in 19 countries already.

A lot of circumstances would have let me not achieve that

last year, but I still have that plan.

I still executed it and I can still see the result of that

action. I actually grew I did not just

survive, I grew. In fact, I told a lot of people

that if you told me last year, the before when I was 17, that

by 18 I'll have a podcast which should be heard in 19 countries

currently, I would not have believed you because he was

never in my plan. But within the year I had that

vision and I was able to execute it.

I had the plan late last year December.

I was able to write my e-book and I published it on my own.

So I executed that plan. Now I'm not just the podcast

host. I am an auto, as funny as that

sounds. I am an author, which means what

I grew. I did not just survive it, I

grew. I did something that I have

never done before. I'm not trying to market myself

or patronize myself, but the quality of my book, you would

not find that anywhere for that price.

I saw someone who is selling the same thing, how to write an

e-book using AI. He's selling his book for 40,000

naira. Yes, 40,000 naira.

And mine is just how much. And because I intentionally

joined that class to say OK if you're saying the same thing,

let me see how much value you're offering.

I even saw the fact that I offered more value in terms of

my explanation in the book, in terms of the bonus that came

after buying the book. I offered more value than him.

Yet he's selling his book for what, 40,000 naira.

That means I actually did achieve something now within the

year like I stopped my job. But then I can confidently come

out to tell you that I am a pro at CCTV installation anywhere.

I am a pro even if you take me to the President's house now

trained store CCTV, I will give him a very outstanding job yes

and this happened when I was still worth 18.

So the year did not just pass me by, actually grew.

Now on the path where I came out to publicly say I was going to

make one millionaire online, I was actually learning sales and

marketing. Currently, I have a lot of

knowledge on sales, especially on digital marketing.

So I'm actually growing. I did not just let the year pass

me by. You see how I am preframing the

whole narrative? Listen attentively, I said I was

going to reveal what made me not make Tamilian rights.

I'll still do that, just keep listening.

Now within the year, I said to go for myself.

That was I want to be able to speak in a physical event.

So I did apply. I planned everything and I

executed it and by God's grace, next week, hopefully next week,

Thursday, I would be having the opportunity to speak at an

event. By God's grace, this is what we

call growth. I did not just let the year pass

me by, I actually grew with it. Did I hit the 1,000,000 goal?

No, but I learned exactly specifically why I didn't.

And that knowledge alone is worth more than the money would

have been because the money would have been spent.

But the lesson is in my head forever.

So here's what I want to give you today.

Not a goal setting exercise. Not a vision board prompt.

I call it the growth audit. 3 questions.

You can run on yourself on your birthday or run them when the

year ends or run them when you need to know if you're actually

drawing. I called them the good audits

and that's actually what I asked myself to be able to come to

this conclusion that no, I did not just get older.

In fact, I have achieved way more than the average 18 year

old would achieve currently in Nigeria.

Will I remind you to actually wrote JAM within all these?

Actually wrote JAM after being off school for like 3 years.

The marital was not like, you know, banging like that because

I actually started preparation like 2 weeks before the exams.

But then I did well is only because I'm applying to UNILAC.

That's why my I'm saying my result is fair.

But if I was applying to other schools, then my result is more

than enough to get me into my course of choice.

So I did grow. So now we're going to look at

the questions. Question one, who did you become

this year? As I'm asking you now, ask

yourself who did you become this year?

Not what did you do? Who are you now that you weren't

like 12 months ago? Can you answer that question for

me? I became someone who ships.

Who did I become? I become someone who is who is a

doer. I don't just plan, I execute my

plans. There were days I had to like

write plan for the day, plan for the week and I had to follow

through and execute it. I did not just become someone

who set the goal. I would not try to do something.

So I'm not just someone who who, who plans, I execute.

So that is who I became. I could call myself a digital

entrepreneur. I could call myself a digital

marketer. Who did you become this year?

That is the question you need to ask yourself.

Question 2. What did you learn that you can

never unlearn? What has this past few months

taught you? What of this age taught you that

you can never unlearn? What is that irreversible

education? For me, this is the exact reason

why I did not make the one millionaire I proposed I was

going to make. Listen attentively, Yahoo your

ears. Being broke is the best place

you can find yourself. Take it from me, being broke is

the best place you can find yourself.

See, whenever I'm broke, my problem solving skills is

activated. Like really really activated.

I think of ways to achieve. Probably when I was not broke, I

was seeing that to achieve this, this goal or to solve this

problem, there's only one way. But when I am broke, I'll see

like 10 different ways I can use to solve this exact problem.

So that is what this year has taught me.

Bean Brook is a beautiful place to find yourself.

In fact, it draws me closer to the world.

I ain't gonna lie. I don't know if it's only me,

bro. Bean Brook draws me closer to

God. So this is that irreversible

education. This year has taught me Bean

Brook is the best place you can find yourself as someone who

wants to make impact. Because why I did not make my

first two millionaire online before I turned 19 was because

within that year, within that point or that period of time

when I was writing my book, I was really broke.

Within that time, I made that. That video was really broke.

So I saw the vision and I knew I could achieve it.

But you know what stopped me? Comfort.

Now after making that video, I could tell you I got like 3 jobs

or 4 jobs on CCTV installation that actually gave me money that

was able to sustain me up until this month of May.

And I'm not copying and I am not copying.

So comfort was the killer of that goal.

When I set up well, I was really broke and I saw I could achieve

it if I remained in a state of mind.

But because of that, because of I got money, I was like, OK, I

am probably need money to run ads.

I probably need money to do this and I'm not managing the money I

have well. But then looking at it, it was

just comfort because now I am broke again.

Yes, I'm saying this on air. I am broke again, and I'm

telling you that I already find the solution to that problem

through my brain. Used to work here, Jesus.

I've already found the solution to that problem.

So comfort is a killer of destiny, is a killer of your

goal. So that is 1 irreversible

knowledge I've gained from this year.

Strive to be in a place that makes you uncomfortable.

Strive to be in a position that makes you uncomfortable because

comfort kills faster than anything.

Comfort kills your growth. Comfort holds your growth.

So strive to be in a place that makes you uncomfortable.

So now I ask you again, what did you learn that you can never

unlearn? What has this, your year, this

your current age taught you that you can never unlearn?

If there is nothing, then your growth is questionable.

It is really, really questionable.

Question three, What are you still carrying that doesn't

belong to who you are becoming? What mindset?

And put it that way, what mindset are you still carrying

that doesn't belong to who you're becoming?

What habits, what belief, what relationship is from a version

of you that you should have outgrown?

Now to answer this question you have to understand something.

Who are you trying to become? If you don't know that then you

have a longer to go. So now ask yourself who are you

trying to become? Then you have the answer to the

question, but then you can answer this full question.

For me it was the mindset that failure means you have failed,

that failure is a bad thing. Then put it that way, the

message I had before was like, failure is a bad thing.

Public failure, public disgrace, shame they all existed.

But no, they don't do only exist in your own head, do only exist

in your own mentality, do only exist in your own view of life.

Failure means you found a way that something would not work.

Because I failed, I did not make my first one million naira

online. That just means that I found a

way that it would not work out for me.

I found the process that would not help me make my first one

million naira online. Now I can never repeat that

mistake. You cannot come to me and say he

said the gulu. He did not achieve it though

that that will happen. You can't fit, you know.

So what mindset are you still carrying that is kind of

limiting you or that will not suit that person you are trying

to become? You need to answer the question.

Listen, getting older is automatic.

I'll say that again. Getting older is automatic.

Growing is a decision. And the difference between the

two is whether you are asking the five questions or you're

just watching the calendar move. And I just give you what the

right questions to ask tonight before you sleep.

Run the audit on yourself. In fact, after listening to this

podcast, go and run that audit now.

Don't wait. See if you don't run that audit

like you postpone it, then just rested this few think 30 minutes

or so minutes of your, of your, of your time, of your life.

So run the audit. You truly want to become a

better person. You want that audit.

Let me tell you something. Research shows that listen

attentively. Neurological research shows that

the prefrontal cortex, which is the identity development center

of your brain, is not fully developed until you turn around

25 years. So this means what you decide

about your life in this period sets the trajectory for your

life in the next decade, for the next decade.

I'm going to say that again, research shows that the identity

development in the 18 to 25 window, 18 to 25 years window is

the most critical aspect of a person's life.

And now what you decide at this age about yourself in this

period, set the trajectory of your life for decades.

Once you are unsuccessful, let this window pass unconsciously.

If you are planning not to be unsuccessful, then you should

take this very seriously. Whatever you've learned now, go

and implement it right now and know if you are not growing,

what can you actually do to to ensure that you are growing and

not getting older? Ask yourself the three

questions. Who did you become?

What did you learn that you can never online and what are you

still carrying that does not belong to you anymore?

Write it down, say to yourself, think about it underneath.

Don't just listen and pass. Don't just listen and scroll.

Don't just listen for listening sake.

Don't just listen to feel inspired.

Don't just listen to feel motivated.

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things that matter. You stop, you listen and you

think. And that is exactly the kind of

person the refined Gen. was built for.

The Refined Gen. is our community, a space for people

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This is the Morning Gear podcast and we are just getting started.

I am divine Daniel the Gen. Z, the educator.

Don't thank me, outgrow me, and then stay refined.

Field Notes