This Is How You Can STOP Chasing Goals and Still Become The Person Who Easily Wins

You don't actually need a better goal, you need a different you.

Hey you, this is the morning girl with Granny, and I'm Danny, your Gen. Z educator here to transform your identity by refining your mentality, or let's say here to rewire your sense of self through mindset.

And I'm so glad that you decided to stop by and press play today. So this is me saying a big welcome to all my new and returning listeners. I really appreciate that you take your time to listen well. We are all in this constant cycle, right? A new month, a new checklist. We are chasing these big shiny goals, the promotion, the sea sparks, the savings. We try to hit them, we get a little pause and then what? We crash. We are back to square one looking for the next thing to chase. Well, today we are ditching that home mentality.

We're getting off the hamster hill. This episode is about a fundamental shift from obsessing over what you want to achieve to focusing on who you need to become to get it.

If you've ever felt like you're putting in the work but the results just don't stick like you're constantly starting over, then this episode is for you. You really need this episode for your life. We are going to talk about how your daily routine isn't just the least of two Do's, it is a series of votes for the person you are becoming. We'll cover the mindset shift and give you 3 immediate action steps to start living from your desired identity and not just chasing a finish line. But before we dive into the heavy stuff, you know, we do this on normal band section.

And today I have a couple of things to talk to you about. Well, to start with, I started doing something this week, I don't know, during the week on Monday. I've got the seeing that OK, you know, every time someone tells you how are you doing when you chat with somebody online and they go like, how are you doing? I just I just caught a leading suite. Instead of saying I'm fine, why not say I'm blessed? You know the Bible says I don't hear the Bible word have power, right? There's power in the tongue.

So I decided to do something to friends. So if you've chatted with me during the week, you'd notice that whenever you asked how are you, I'll mention I am blessed, alright? I'd rather than say I am fine. I'd say I am blessed. And I noticed that saying I'm fine is often too generic and it's just something that just happens. You just see it. Reluctantly, you just see it Unaware, you just see it automatically. So I, I decided to become more intentional about that question. So whenever you asked how are you, I just speak to myself.

I just speak to my life. I am blessed and believe me when I say I have noticed this, this change in my week. My week has been beautiful. My week has been truly blessed, so I'm inviting you to join me in ghost shift. Other than saying I am fine, why not say I am blessed? Why not say I'm favored? Why not say I am a success? Why not say I'm successful? Why not say to speak one word that you know you'd be intentional 'cause I notice whenever I say I'm blessed, I'm literally telling my book on divine, but I'm blessed.

I feel more intentional of the moment. I feel more In Sync with the moment, Fred. I'm just blotting out. I'm fine. So I guess you should try it out and give me back, give me your feedback on this issue. Also, I'm calling out somebody. I'm going to want somebody a seat the leads. I don't know if you know if you know, you know, Apple has been frustrating me. They don't they frustrate me like since when I've been trying to get my this podcast they're listening to on Apple podcast. But the whole process, especially on getting an Aqua ID has been frustrating.

It has been complicated. But then this human being called basit this human being did this thing in less than 1 minutes. Like I'm not copying, I'm not copying. I've tried it several you severally, I've done it with my phone, I've used an iOS, I've asked different set of persons to do this. But then this guy I was never known like was OK we are plan on doing it. Is it on on Wednesday night? But then my data kind of got exhausted before it was time for us to do it. So when he decided to do it he had to like call me OK divine come online.

I was like OK my data go exhausted and I cannot go out to delete and I don't see SSD code. So he later on called my line and OK he sent the code to your number, give me the code and I called out the code and the next thing I saw is it has been created successfully. I like jeez jeez which magic did this guy do? God. So officially soon this broadcast will be on Apple Podcast, I think, but then you're listening. It should be available on Apple Podcasts. So I'm calling you out. I'm really grateful. I'm extremely grateful.

I'm extremely, extremely grateful. I really appreciate your support. I really have the hate. So thank you very much. Thank you very much. And also Dimatis is on the list the day again, I don't know. This guy has been a guy. This guy isn't a guy. So last two weeks, I think on the last episode I mentioned that guy Martins has been kind of my support. It's not kind of he has been my support in the whole journey and I really appreciate everything he did. Even after calling him out. This guy had to like, post on his status post my podcast even asked his friends to go and listen and give me follow.

When I said like I was, I was, I was wowed. I was amazed. I was flabbergasted. I had to call him and like, show my gratitude because it's something that everybody cannot do. But he did it with his whole heart. He taught expecting anything in return. And yeah, I really appreciate you, Guy Martins. I really appreciate. Thank you for everything. Yeah, thank you. So you've listened. I think we should get straight into the topic of discussion. So let's get into the core concepts of today's discussion.

We've been taught to set outcome based goals. Example, I want to earn $10,000 this month. I want to lose like 10 lbs of weight. I want to finish a book I started reading. And all those things and truly everything I listed, all these goals are fine, but then they create something I call the destructive loop.

If you don't hit the target, you feel and you tell yourself things like I'm failure or I am bad with money or I am not disciplined, your identity now gets tied up in a temporary outcome. But then there's an identity shift and framework which would help you in case you don't know the most successful people, the ones who get consistent, the long term result persons, they operate differently. They focus on identity based habits. They are not chasing an outcome. They are leaving out an identity. They are leaving words.

They are leaving out an identity. The question isn't what goal do I want to hit? The question is who do I want to become? Now I ask you, who do you want to become?

See, when you focus on being a specific kind of person, the habits stop feeling like a chore and start feeling like a natural expression of who you are. The habit is now a proof point of your identity. Look look at these two examples. To make this more concrete, imagine you're a musician. Instead of setting a goal like I want to finish A10 song EP by the end of the year, shift this your focus now to the identity which should be I am a consistent position. I am what? I am a consistent position. Now how does a consistent position show up?

They don't wait for an inspiration. They just show up to their studio or their text or to their laptop or even for 15 minutes. Maybe they just organize the audio files. Maybe they just loop 1 bit or the other. What do they do? They just prioritize the process. When you sit down every day, you're not trying to finish a song. You are simply being a musician. Not just any type of musician, but a consistent musician and eventually the songs will just appear. Why did it happen like that? Because you focused on being a consistent musician.

Now let me give you another example. Imagine you want to be more financially responsible. Instead of setting a goal like I want to save $5000 this year, I want to save a million naira this year. Shift that your focus to the identity, which is I am financially responsible. You are what? Financially responsible? Again, how does a financially responsible person act? They don't impulse. They don't buy an impulse when they're bored. They don't wait until the end of the month to see what's leftover in their accounts.

They check their bank balance every week. They move a small automated amount to savings the second their paycheck hits their account. They asked themselves, does this purchase really align with my value? Their small daily choices reflects what they reflect, their identity. Now. These $5000 now may just automatically appear and they just saved it. This $5000 that they've saved now is just a side effect of being that person, a side effect of being that person, which person, of being a financially responsible person.

And This is why it is essential to focus on identity based habits rather than chasing outcome based goals. Look, the principle here is very, very simple. Your current habits are perfectly designed to deliver your current result. Your current habits are perfectly designed to deliver your current results. Now, if you want different results, you have to fundamentally change what you believe about yourself, which then changes your what, which then changes your actions. Listen, you have to what? Fundamentally change what you believe about yourself, and this will in turn change your actions.

Now I'm going to give you 3 actionable steps to start becoming a better person, to start becoming a better version of you, to start becoming that dream you. So how do we actually do this? There are three concrete steps you can apply right now. I'm giving you 3 concrete step you can apply right now. One, decide who you want to be. I can call this the proof. Don't just pick any title. Don't just pick any random title to me. I want to be a billionaire. I want to be successful. It's too broad. Define it, narrow it down.

Ask yourself, what would the person I want to be do in this situation? Imagine I say I want to be a reader. I want to become a writer. I want to become a content creation, content creator. Rather ask yourself what would a reader, someone who reads, someone who loves reading or writer or content creator, what would they do in this position? In this situation? If your desired identity is something like I am a high valued relationship builder, then the proof is not having a big network. The proof is responding to texts quickly.

The proof is remembering small details about your friends or your colleagues weekend. The proof is taking 5 minutes to genuinely congratulate somebody on their way. Then if you noticed this, what you have to do now is to start collecting the proof points of your new identity. How do you even collect them? Can start by journaling.

Oh I did this today. I reached out to this person as a high relationship builder, high value relationship reader. I wish that this person write it down. I've, I, I responded quickly to your text. You write it down. Oh, I want to be a reader for one. I'm, I'm a reader now. I read 15 pages of books. Today you write it down. Oh, I wrote about 1000 words today. You write it down. What are you doing? You are collecting proof of your new identity and it is going to be very, very essential in making sure that you are now focusing on an identity based change rather than outcome based change.

2 actionable step. 2 tiny votes equals to big identity. Tiny votes equals to big identity. You don't have to overwhelm your whole life or overhaul your whole life. You just need to cast tiny votes for the person you want to become. Think of it like a micro deposit into your identity bank account. If you want to become the organized student or the organized professional, then don't just commit to a four hour cleanup. Commit to putting 1 stray item away every time you leave your decks. Your decks that's once more Action is a vote.

It changes the narrative you tell yourself from I'm a messy person to I'm a person who maintains what order When push up is a vote for I am an active person. Once keep scroll on Instagram is the vote for I am focused. This action is what is the proof. You cannot generate proof without what action. That's why I said tiny votes equals big big words, big identity. Tiny votes equals big identity. This your tiny votes is equals to your big identity. It will come compound it with compound. If you have listened to our episode where we talked about our previous episode where we talked about habits, right, which I called it compounding in compounding interest of what self improvement, understand that.

Habits are something that compound and now when your habit is now identity based and not outcome based, it is really going to help you. Actionable. Step 3. Embrace the sleeps. Embrace what the sleeps. You can call this the redefinition. The truth is, eh, you will have of days. You have days that you will not go according to what you planned. You will not go according to your system you created, right. You skip the workout you buy that you do not need. You will not read that book. You will not write that word.

You will not post that content. You will never post that that write up on LinkedIn. You will not even write that blog post. And this is where most people quit because they say, see, I'm not even the disciplined person at all. But then the disciplined person isn't somebody who has never missed something before. The disciplined person is someone who misses once and gets back on track the very next day.

When you sleep or when you have a sleep. Don't redefine yourself as a failure, redefine your failure as an aberration. Tell yourself this was a temporary lapse and it doesn't represent who I am. I'm a person who gets back to it and this, your new identity is built on resilience and not perfection. Your new identity is built or what? Resilience and not perfection. And that is why it is essential that you embrace it. You embrace this sleep issue. You should take note that it is going to happen. But then what would be your reaction 'cause as every action requires an opposite reaction.

Are you going to say, oh, after all, I'm not, I'm not disciplined. No, you should enjoy the process of what? Of becoming, because it's a process. It is what it is, a process. Here's the punch line for today. Stop chasing the finish line. Stop chasing the finish line and start falling in love with the process of becoming.

So now I'm going to give you key takeaways or key points you can take away from today's topic. One, shift your focus from outcome goals. Example, what I want to hit to identity habits, which is who I want to become or who you want to become. Two, your tiny daily habits are proof points. That is little voices for your desired identity. You need to start small to bring big. So this your tiny daily habits at proof point pointing to where to who you are becoming so you know who you want to become. So now you have to start making that tiny vote and start small so you can be able towards win big.

Key take away 3 when you sleep because you definitely sleep. Remember, the person who wins isn't the one who is perfect, but it's the person who redefines the sleep and gets back on track immediately. So when you fall, please rise again and you relapse. When you relapse, get back on streak and don't just let that single action get the best of you. Redefine failure and give it a different definition. It is whatever you call it. It is whatever you call. I call it a learning process, right? So give it your name, redefines your head, and don't let that slip hold you back or stop you from achieving who you want to become.

Look, you have the power to step into this new identity right now. Like even today, not even when you hit that goal or when you get that job, but what today? So do what? Start already start all ready. Thank you so much for spending this time with me. And if this episode shifted something for you like he gave you that, Ah, I understand what this guy is saying. Please do me a favor. I want you to take a screenshot of the episode right now. Like right now. Do it now. I'm waiting. Have you done it good now, nearly after you start listening to this or as you are listening, share this to your WhatsApp status, share that screenshot to your WhatsApp status to your Instagram and Facebook story and also share with a friend who knows on you who you know needs to hear this.

You can tag me on WhatsApp, on Instagram at Dev under Score Danny so I can actually see it. And while you're at it, while you are at it, don't forget to hit that follow button so you don't miss. The next week's deep dive into rewiring your sense of self with mindset can follow us on Instagram at the Morning Gear, on Facebook at the Morning Gear. You can also send us an e-mail for sponsorship and collaborations at the Morning [email protected]. Remember, every action is a vote, so make your vote count today.

I'll catch you next time. And as always, I just want to inspire you. P.

Field Notes